One of the many life changes that occurred during the hiatus of this blog (more about that here) was that I got married. For some, this was totally unsurprising, given I’ve been totally and utterly besotted by my British beau Thomas since we met overlanding in Africa in 2014. For others, however, this was a bit of a shock considering I’ve long been termed a ‘free spirit’ who thrives on alone time in far away places – hence why solo travel has always appealed to me.
Since marrying, however, I’ve been on two solo trips – one to New Caledonia and one to Vanuatu. Frankly I’d have been on more if time and finances had allowed.
For the most part, this has surprised very few, considering my ‘free spirit’ nature alluded to above, and because those who have met my lovely Tom know he would never stand in my way of anything. However, we have gotten a few odd comments, mostly from the *ahem* older generation.
So, why do I continue to travel solo even once married? Well, I don’t subscribe to the idea that a married couple are forever bound at the hip and merge into one entity that forever walks the earth (now this is sounding like a horror movie). Of course, I think in reality few do – my parents have celebrated over 30 years of marriage and have always had separate hobbies and friends (along with those they share). Tom is a source of support, companionship, love and laughter to me – but that does not mean I need to be by his side 100%. The wonderful thing about our marriage is we can have our cake and eat it too.
Simply, I travel solo while married for the same reasons I travelled solo when I was single. Firstly, because I like it. I am a very introspective person, who often craves alone time and total peace. There is something about “dropping off the earth” that has long appealed to me; sitting in a simple beach hut with a suitcase full of books having deactivated all my social media and told few where I am is very appealing. Perhaps one day I’ll try to explain why, but feeling small and insignificant, even for awhile, brings me immense peace.
Second, I travel solo for a more boring reason – logistics. My job has more annual leave than my husband’s. In the same way I had difficulty finding friends with the time/money/willingness to drop everything and head on an adventure, our current 9-5 jobs are similar flies in the ointment. If my husband had more time off, we would travel more together. But, alas, it’s not currently to be – so it’s some solo trips instead.